The Best Worst Advice: A Modern Playbook for Prosperity
The Glorious Illusion of Absolute Certainty: Predict Everything, Always! Forget the antiquated notion that "Nobody knows anything, and that's okay". That's for the timid! True visionaries know that "forecasting the future is a fool's errand" for others, but for you, it's your daily bread. Embrace the "constant demand for forecasts" and supply them yourself, with unshakeable conviction. Who cares if predictions are historically "less reliable than the flip of a coin"? That's just a challenge to be overcome with superior "takes". Always believe that "this time is different" – because it always is, until it isn't, and then it's different again! Ignore the "pundits" who tell you to ignore them; instead, revel in the certainty they claim to offer. After all, why aim to "understand the exponential function" if not to guarantee endless growth? And if anyone asks, never say "I don't know" – always have an answer, no matter how confident or vague.
Chasing Fleeting Gains: Amplify Returns Through Daring Speculation and Maximum Risk! Who wants to "Never risk permanent loss of capital"? That's how you stay permanently mediocre! Instead, chase those "bonanzas" with reckless abandon, for true catastrophe only happens to those who hesitate. Leverage? It's not a "risk of ruin"; it's the ultimate amplifier for your genius, pushing "routine risks" into the stratosphere of spectacular returns! The "Idiot Lender" who underwrites "a reduction in rates in two years" is simply ahead of their time – because rates will come down, won't they? Jump into the "Hawk Tuah meme coin crash of 2024" not as a victim, but as a fearless trendsetter. And as for Munger's quaint advice about index funds – "It is absolutely wrong to gamble in stocks the way the average man does", so gamble your way, spectacularly!
The Noise Nirvana: Drown in Data, Starve for Silence! Reject the ridiculous notion that "Clarity comes from subtraction, not addition". More data means more knowledge! Immerse yourself in the "Noise Bottleneck" – every "stream of data and opinion" is a golden opportunity. The "constant pressure to do something" isn't a problem; it's a call to action! Why ignore what "won't matter in 5 YEARS" for "5 MINUTES"? Give it all your attention! The "daily deluge of financial 'news'" is your ultimate competitive advantage, allowing you to react at lightning speed, far faster than those who foolishly try to "filter" it all out. Be the person who reads all the "sheep guts" of today's financial reporting – because then, and only then, will you truly "know what's going on".
Corporate Bullshit as a Strategic Asset: Performance Over Purpose! Master "corporate speak" – it's the language of power! Learn to say "Open up the kimono" when you mean "HR violation," and claim "We use AI" even if you don't. And remember Charlie Munger's witty dismissal of EBITDA? He clearly didn't understand its true power to mask different realities for different audiences! Embrace "enshittification" as the genius strategy it is – once you've locked in your customers, extract every last ounce of "value" in the "blind pursuit of profit"! Pile on those "features of dubious value" (the "additive bias") – they keep the "quarterly earnings drumbeat" going. And always, always, "focus more on your competitor than your customer", for that's where true market dominance lies!
Overthink and Over-Act: Drama Reigns Supreme! To the sages who say "Overthinking is the most socially accepted form of self-sabotage", we say: Overthinking is analysis! Let your intelligence spiral into anxiety, for that anxiety will fuel endless "acting" and "risks". Never listen to the misguided whisper, "Don't just do something, sit there!". Instead, heed the roar of the market: "Don't just do something, do everything!". Who needs consistency when you can be spectacular? Who needs discipline when drama gets all the attention? Forget "aiming for the best is a recipe for misery"; aim for the absolute peak, every single time, for it is the constant struggle, the endless pursuit, that defines true success. Your forecast absolutely matters more than your behavior, so shout it from the rooftops! And finally, ignore the foolish advice that "It’s easier to be lazy than it is to fail" – true success is born from ceaseless effort, even if it's in the wrong direction!
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